The World's Feeling Hallow
by Flying-with-Broken-Wings-13
Summary: When Finn is left with just a memory of his late wife, Rachel, he must rebuild his life. He tried to stay strong for his children, but he needed help. Blaine and Kurt are there for him through the most painful time in his life. But so is someone else.


**This idea popped into my head. If you've ever heard the song "Terrible Things" by Mayday Parade, this is how I got the idea. And "Fly" by Hilary Duff really inspired me. Hilary and Derek [lead singer of Mayday Parade] are used as names because of the songs. I just thought it was a cute idea. The rating will most likely change. Not positive, though.  
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><p>"I'm so glad we got to do this, Finn," Rachel spoke from the passengers seat, her eyes gleaming brightly in the moonlight. Finn cast a quick glance in her direction, just to take in how beautiful the woman was. When their eyes met she smiled brightly, exposing all of her teeth. Finn always loved when she smiled in that way. It was so <em>real<em>.

"I love you, Rachel," Finn told her, looking quickly back toward the road. It was late so the traffic was to a minimum. A minimum for New York, anyway. "I'd do anything to make you happy." And he meant that.

"Well, with Derek and Hilary it's kind of hard to get out," Rachel said with a sigh. Finn wanted nothing more than to promise her they'd have more special nights just like that one, but he knew he couldn't. Not with two young kids to look after.

"I don't think Kurt and Blaine mind watching them," Finn replied, a smile on his face. They were certainly excellent babysitters. "They love the kids."

"They love our kids because they don't have their own yet," Rachel retorted. "One day, maybe soon, they're going to start their own family."

Finn let out a groan of displeasure. He was about to argue, but something in his brain told him Rachel was right. Kurt and Blaine, however great they were to their kids, wouldn't want to constantly babysit once they had their own children to look after.

Finn suddenly got a thought, "You're happy, right?"

The question obviously took Rachel by surprised. She glanced at him for a moment before answering. "Of course I am. I have the greatest family in the world."

"Even if we won't get to go out like this anymore?" Finn wasn't sure why he was asking those questions. He just had to make sure Rachel loved him as much as he loved her.

"As long as I have you, I don't need fancy dinners, or to see expensive shows." Rachel placed her hand gently on Finn's knee, and he smiled at the touch. His heart beat faster from this simple contact, even after all that time. Her touch made him feel like he could fly.

"Oh my gosh, Finn," Rachel exclaimed, turning the radio up quickly, filling the car with the beginning piano to 'Don't Stop Believing'. "Remember this?"

"How could I forget?" Finn asked, and then began to sing along. His mind drifted back to that amazing day in sophomore year, when he wasn't sure who he was, or what he wanted out of life. He just knew he liked to sing, and he liked the way the people in Glee made him feel.

Before Finn knew it, both of them were singing out the words loudly, silent tears running down Rachel's face. Neither had been aware of the red light Finn was about to run.

The oncoming car had no way of stopping before smashing quickly into theirs. Lights and sounds filled Finn's eyes and ears, confusing him. Journey was no longer playing loudly. All he could hear were sirens. All he could see was a single bright light. He didn't understand why, though. Finn was sure he was dreaming.

When he awoke several days later, he waited to open his eyes. His bed felt different from before and his head ached. He sniffed, waiting to take in the peaceful smell of Rachel's perfume. Except, that's not what he smelled at all. Finn thought he smelled food. He waited to hear his children loudly demanding pancakes, or as Hilary liked to call them, "pacas". Neither Hilary or Derek's voice echoed from down the hall, though.

Feeling uneasy, Finn's eyes quickly fluttered open. The unfamiliar room around him caused a wave a panic. The tall man's eyes darted from corner to corner in attempt to find anything familiar to him. All he saw were flowers, high tech machines, and a pile of coats laying on a chair. He wondered who they all belonged to when suddenly his silent question was answered.

"Finn? Are you awake?" He turned his head toward the door and met the eyes of his mother. They were red and puffy, as though she'd been crying. Finn didn't understand why. He feared for a moment that something happened to Kurt or Burt.

"Mom? What's up?" Finn asked trying to move, but failing. Suddenly his mother rushed toward him and tried to hug him out of pure hysterics. The random things connected to him made this increasingly difficult so she gave up, ran out of the room, and began shouting, "He's awake!"

Finn couldn't remember being asleep very long, so he was clueless as to why him waking up would be such a big deal. He also wanted to know why exactly his mother was visiting New York in the first place, and why there were tubes and needle poking into his skin, but he decided he'd get to that question later.

When he mother came back into the room she had brought Kurt, Burt, and a nurse back with her. She was crying again, though she wore a large smile on her face. Burt was also smiling, but he held his composer. Kurt, Finn noticed, looked as though he hadn't slept for days. There was no trace of happiness on his face, though he did tear up a little when Finn smiled happily at him.

"Hey you guys! What are you all doing here?" Finn asked pleasantly, excited to get answers. The last thing he remembered was a Journey song. The memory just left him confused and slightly sad, though, for some reason.

"Finn, there was was an accident," Burt said slowly, his eyes trained on the younger mans face. "You're in the hospital."

"Oh, right," Finn mumbled, feeling stupid that he hadn't realized it before. "What happened? Who else is hear?"

"No one. Blaine was here, but the kids were tired so he took them home. I should have gone to help, but I didn't want to leave." Kurt was close to breaking, and Finn couldn't stand to see his brother so upset. He wanted to reach out and touch the boy. To let him know he was alright.

"Kurt, I'm fine. Don't be upset. Where- Where's Rachel?" The name sent knives flying into Finn's heart. He suddenly felt like crying, but couldn't for the life of him remember why. He noticed that at his words, Kurt broke down into an even harder sob, and even Burt looked a little teared up.

"Finn, honey," Carol whispered, grabbing her sons hand gently. Finn let the liquid flow from his eyes, too weak to hold it back. "She didn't make it."

Finn didn't remember much about his time in the hospital. He ate, drank, and slept, but didn't do much more. Almost every day either his parents or Kurt and Blaine would bring his children to visit. They looked lost and confused every time they climbed into the chair next to his bed. He would tell them stories and try to pretend like the world wasn't falling apart.

Often when he saw Kurt there were tear stains on his cheeks and he wondered if all Kurt's crying had an effect on his children. Blaine held himself together well, which Finn was thankful for. He knew Kurt, Blaine, and Rachel had become close during college and was sure Blaine was doing all he could to keep himself composed. He's always been good at remaining put together.

On Finn's last day in the hospital, Kurt arrived alone early one morning. Finn was still asleep when Kurt walked in, and when he opened his eyes Kurt was holding his hand lightly. Finn sat up a little, glad that he had that ability back, and gripped Kurt's hand back tightly. They met eyes for a long moment and Finn whispered, "Thank you."

"For what?" Kurt asked stupidly. They hadn't really had an actual conversation since the accident. It was obvious they missed each other, even if neither of them would want to admit it.

"For taking care of my kids. For taking care of me," Finn said, feeling tears well up in his eyes. Finn had been good about not crying. Partly for his children, partly because Rachel's death hadn't really hit him yet. Kurt was crying again too.

"I'd do anything for you, Finn. And for Rachel," The last three words were barely audible, but Finn caught them. His heart welled with several different emotions, each one as strong as the next. He felt his body shake with sobs and let the tears fall, not caring that Kurt was sitting next to him. They cried together for a long time, interrupted by a small knock on the door.

"Hey guys," Blaine said, walking slowly into the room. Finn gave his head a soft shake and wiped away the remaining tears from his face.

"Hey Blaine, what's going on, man?" Kurt gave a shaky laugh and Finn glanced at him curiously. The smaller man just shook his head though and wiped his eyes. Finn watched Blaine walk up behind Kurt and rest his hands on the other man's shoulders. Blaine looked between the brothers, a hidden emotion in his eyes. Finn thought it might have been worry, or maybe just pity.

"Kurt are you ready to go? I promised your dad we'd pick up the kids at two." Blaine said after a long period of time. Kurt looked down at Finn's hand, which was still locked in his. Kurt answered by nodding his head a little and broke his connection with Finn after exchanging a small smile.

"Goodbye, Finn," Kurt said with a little wave as he slipped his hand into Blaine's.

"Bye, baby bro," Finn responded, laughing as Kurt gave a halfhearted scowl. He hoped he and Kurt's relationship might go back to normal after some time, then realized neither of them would ever be the same again.

Burt and Carole picked Finn up from the hospital the next day at ten o'clock sharp. It'd been almost two weeks since the accident, and though Finn's head injury wasn't fully healed, and a rib or two hadn't finished healing, he was cleared to leave the hospital so that he could attend Rachel's funeral service. Finn wasn't surprised to find Kurt had planned the whole thing with little help from Rachel's mourning fathers.

After much consideration, and a little disagreement, it was decided that Rachel would be buried in New York, he favorite place in the world. The New Directions were flying out to attend, as were Rachel's fathers.

"Her dads weren't too sure about it," Kurt told Finn the day before the funeral, standing in the kitchen of Kurt and Blaine's apartment.

"It's what she would have wanted." Finn was glad Kurt insisted upon this detail. Finn couldn't imagine Rachel wanting to be laid to rest anywhere else. Finn opened up his armed go hug Kurt. It only slightly hurt when Kurt fell into them. He felt Kurt shake and was sure he was crying. Blaine stood back awkwardly until Finn motioned for him to join the hug. Blaine was his brother too, after all.

"I'm sorry I've been such a wreak for the past week," Kurt muttered into the taller man's chest. Finn frowned down at the boy, and broke the hug.

"I wish I could let it all out right now," Finn told him, watching as Blaine wrapped a comforting arm around Kurt's waist. "I would feel more human."

"Why can't you?" Kurt asked quietly, staring Finn right in the eyes.

"I don't know," Finn said, though it was a lie. He knew why he was an emotional wreak, but to admit it, he would also have to admit Rachel really was gone and he wasn't ready to do that yet.

Finn dressed his children slowly on the day of the funeral. Hilary's velvet black dress looked almost too nice to be worn by a three year old, and he would have never considered buying his five year old son a suit. Everything changed so quickly.

They took a cab to the funeral home, where Rachel's casket lay closed. He saw all of the old Glee kids sitting in the front row, most of the girls crying. Only one of the other boys had tears rolling down his face.

"Hey Puck," Finn spoke softly, grabbing his friends shoulders. Puck hastily rubbed his eyes, pretending he wasn't just crying.

"Hey, man," Puck grunted, standing up to hug Finn. "How are you doing?"

"I've been better," Finn said honestly, taking Derek and Hilary's hands in his own once more. "These are my kids. I think you've met them once or twice."

"Oh yeah, I remember this little guy." Puck said, crouching down so that he was eye level with the small boy. "He looks just like his dad."

"I'm not as tall," The boy piped up sadly, staring up at the man next to him.

"You'll get there," Puck told him, ruffling Derek's hair. "And this must be Hilary. She looks just like Rachel." Puckerman whispered her name. Finn was unsure if it was so that he didn't upset the kids, Finn, or himself.

"She definitely got her smile," Finn said proudly. He picked up his daughter gently and kissed her on the top of the head. She giggled a little and wrapper her arms around Finn's neck.

"Daddy," Hilary yelled happily, her voice filling the room with happiness.

"Hopefully she'd got the talent too." Puck was looking at the little girl with hope in his eyes. Puck and Rachel were friends, from what Finn could remember, but he didn't recall them being very close. The sadness in Puck's eyes told another story, though, and it made Finn feel slightly uneasy. Like maybe there was something between them he never saw.

"Hilary is already very musical," Kurt told Puck, as he appeared behind the two men. All the New Directions looked up when they heard him and smiled lightly. Finn hadn't really noticed them before and was shocked to see that, next to Mercedes, Santana seemed to be crying the hardest. She was mumbling something into Brittany's shoulder. The blonde just patted her softly, silent tears running down her own face as well.

"Is she now?" Puck inquired, giving Kurt a small hug as he spoke. Kurt returned it without a second thought, realizing that he'd actually sort of missed Puckerman's company.

"Oh yes. Believe me, I've been watching her practically every do for the last two weeks. She likes to sing herself to sleep," Kurt explained as he kissed his niece softly on the cheek. "Rain on my Parade is a favorite of hers."

"I bet it puts Rachel's to shame," Puck said casually, smiling at the little girl. Usually, it would have upset both Finn and Kurt to hear someone talk so offhandedly about Rachel. Somehow it seemed normal and right for Puck too, though. Finn and Kurt exchanged small smiles before answering at the same time.

"Oh, it does."

Kurt moved away from the men, and went to hug Mercedes. And Puck asked quietly, "Can I hold her?"

"Sure. I warn you, though, she likes to bite people," Finn said with a smile. People often wanted to hold Hilary. Why wouldn't they? She was adorable.

"Ha, so do I," Puck said with a wink, causing Finn to laugh just a little. He turned his attention to his abnormally quite son and found him clinging to his leg, tears strolling down his face.

"Hey, Derek, it's okay," Finn told him, kneeling down really low and hugging his son tightly, despite the pain in his body. Derek cried harder into his father, whimpering softly.

"Everything alright?" Blaine asked, suddenly behind them. He was standing above Finn and Derek looking worried.

"Uncle Blaine!" Derek exclaimed softly, and hugged the man's legs. Finn stood back up and laughed. He'd always known his son was found of the man but never really knew why.

"I see who's the favorite around here," Puck said with a laugh, dancing with the young girl in his arms a little. She was snapping at his face playfully, laughing harder than anyone had seen her laugh in two weeks. "Hey now!"

"I like Uncle Blaine 'cause I'm almost as tall as him!" Derek said happily, standing on his tiptoes. All three men let out load laughs before realizing where they were and what was going on.

"Finn!" The man turned around to see Kurt walking quickly towards them. "Are you ready to make a speech?"

Finn felt his stomach churn but nodded. He need to be strong for his children. He needed to be strong for Kurt. Most of all, he needed to be strong for Rachel.

"Alright. Blaine and I will take Hilary and Derek to sit," Kurt said, grabbing Hilary out of Puck's arms and walking quickly towards four chairs. Blaine followed, holding Derek's small hand in his own. Finn let out a deep breath and walked toward the podium. The lights dimmed as he did so, and everyone got instantly quite, staring up at him.

Finn looked out at everyone, feeling happy to see them and depressed about the circumstances. He'd liked to think Rachel would be happy about how many people came to mourn her death, but really, he knew she didn't want to die at all.

"Um, hi. I'm Finn Hudson. I'm sure most of you know that." Finn let out a shaky laugh before continuing. "So, I'm not really good at speaking,but I'm gonna give it my best. I just wanted you guys to know that Rachel was my-my everything. She's been with me since high school and we had our problems, like all kids do, but we loved each other. It's funny, I realized I was meant to be with her at a funeral. Now.. Now here we are."

Finn searched the crowd again, begging himself not to cry. Each word he spoke impaled a part of his heart. He wouldn't be able to stand all those people watching tears form in his eyes. He let his pause last a little too long, but felt the audience would understand.

"Something really special about Rachel was that no matter what you thought about her, once she opened her mouth to sing, you wanted to listen. She pulled you in and you were stuck with her, whether you wanted to be or not. That kind of happened with all of us in Glee Club. Without her, we wouldn't have been a team. We wouldn't have been a family, even though some people might try and disagree." Finn smiled lightly at Santana, who was crying harder, listening to Finn's every word.  
>"And she gave me this new family, away from Glee, and even though she's gone, we'll all still be a family. We won't be whole. When Kurt left Glee for all those months, we weren't whole. But we were still a team. A damn good team. I want my family to know that even though your mommy is gone, and we're not whole, we'll still be good. We'll still be okay," Finn's voice broke on the last word and he turned around quickly to wipe his eyes.<p>

"I will love Rachel until the day I die. I will never forget her laugh, her smile, or her beautiful voice. It's implanted in my memory. But also, it's shown in my kids. My son laughs just like her. My daughter has her smile. They both have her talent, thank god. I will never forget the way she loved because I have my old family and my new family to remind me every second of every day. Thank you for that," Finn finished his speech, and moved away from the podium. People sobbed loudly in their seats as he passed. He'd succeeded in making all of the New Directions cry, even Lauren, and even saw a tear or two roll down Blaine's face. Finn quickly switched seats with Kurt, who was moving toward the podium himself.

"Hello, everyone. I'm Kurt Hummel, Rachel's brother in law and best friend," Kurt, who had always been a brilliant public speaker, managed to say this with ease. "Finn said almost everything that could ever be said about Rachel Berry-Hudson. There was the good, bad, and the ugly about her, but that's just what made her human. She was a fantastic mother, and a wonderful wife to my brother. But even more so, she was the best performer I've ever seen."

Finn watched Kurt closely, amazed that the man wasn't bawling. It was the most composed he'd seen Kurt since he woke up in the hospital.

"Some of you may know that Rachel and I didn't always see eye to eye, which was understandable. I am a very proud person, and though it still pains me to admit, she was better than me. She was better than everyone. We're here today because her voice was silenced by death much, much to early. I just want to thank you all for coming and giving us your condolences. If Rachel were here, she'd be eating it up." A few people laughed at Kurt's joke. Most likely the people who knew her the best. There were soft claps as Kurt stood down, moved Hilary so that she was sitting on his lap, and then watched as one of Rachel's father's took the floor.

Finn liked that anyone who wanted to speak was allowed to. Nearly everyone from Glee went up and said a few things. Finn noticed Puck avoided going, but it didn't phase him too much. Puck was never able to express himself. Finn just assumed Puck would drink himself silly that night and try to forget Rachel Berry-Hudson ever existed. It wasn't until Sam finished speaking that everyone seemed to be done. That was when Puck chose to stand.

"I'm Noah Puckerman," Finn stared at him, waiting to hear his next words nervously. "I was in Glee club with Rachel and I am extremely glad I'm able to say that. Before Glee, I never would have payed attention to someone like her unless I had a slushy in my hand. She was really the first person to call me out on being a bad person. If I remember correctly, she told me I was, "kind of a jerk." I feel like that was an understatement. Rachel and I, we were friends. We didn't really seem all that close from the outside, I guess, but she was one of the best damn friends I had. I'm gonna miss her a lot. She's part of the reason I'm who I am today, and I can't say that about a lot of people. Thank you, Rachel." Puck gave a wary look at the heavens before glancing back toward the bodies in front of him. "Rest in piece."

After Puck walked away, everyone clapped. Finn was glad Puck saved his speech for last. He felt the raw emotion in Puck's heart as he spoke about Rachel. It seemed to really effect the audience, including his children. He held both of them close to his chest as he left the funeral home. Burring Rachel's body would be the hardest thing Finn ever had to do, but he would continue to hold his head up high, praying his children would somehow make it through.

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><p><strong>Totally teared up while writing this. I'm pretty sure I'm going to continue. Not positive though. Thoughts? Concerns? Review maybe? I hope it made sense. I think there are some flowing problems, but other than that I kind of like it.<br>**


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